My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
