Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
