dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
