Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
