If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Holy shit dude........stairs
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
