I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
