In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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