Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if only i could text you this smell
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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