Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he thought i was a dude.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
