What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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