do herpes really smell.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
