god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This house was built for laser tag.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
