i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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