part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
