We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
