Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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