I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
