she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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