...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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