the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
