yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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