don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
