ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
