Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
