we have officially lost it.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
