Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
