his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
