Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
