Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
