I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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