I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
