I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
