I wanna bring you to show and tell
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
