just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
