Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
