Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
