he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
