I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
