Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
