5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
