Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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