maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
