i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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