We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
