i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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