She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
