so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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