DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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