but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There was a lot of him and a little penis
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
