i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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