Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
