i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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