How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have feelings that need drinking.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
