How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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