Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
