Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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